There are way too many things we wish we could change. For me, it's my shape, my grades, my clothes. Some people would say that I could change these things. Study more, eat right, exercise, buy new clothes. The thing is, that isn't so easy. Good things come to those who work hard, who wait. But guess what? Time limits appear. Financial problems emerge. Teachers give subjective tests. A lot can limit the fact that working hard, or waiting, doesn't help. Staying up too late to study for my classes, working as much as I can for the 2 retail jobs that rarely give me hours, working and studying so much that sleep overpowers the will to exercise and eat right. Trust me, changing things sometimes just isn't an option at the moment. Don't get me wrong. I try. Going to bed at midnight when I have class at 8, grabbing the veggies when I just want the mac and cheese, finding my second job to counteract my lack of hours at my first. I am trying to the best of my ability but not everything is as bootstrap as Oprah makes it out to be.

I feel like my Cross Cultural Journalism class is going to be one of those bootstrap moments that might just not happen. No matter what I do, whether it's going  to class, doing all the homework, studying for all assignments and tests, I can shake but feel like I am completely doomed. The project we are being assigned is about a topic that should reflect us going out of our comfort zone. Valid point. Just from this class, I can see how narrow minded I haven't seen myself as a journalist. I understand know how we misrepresent people, however, I have never felt such a vague concept of our criteria for a project or test than I have for this class. I feel like I have very little power over the outcome of what happens with this class. I am given all these notes and lists but I never seem to have a full grasp of what is going on. My example would be the graded test I just received. Once talking to my T.A. I felt my 0/20 on my question was considered unfair. When talking to her, she said she couldn't see the words she needed to fully grade what she wanted out the question. When discussing our test to the class, we were told by her supervising professor how not to rely on buzzwords. I brought this to her attention in accordance to her grading style. She fully agreed. So I rebutted as to how we were told not to use buzzwords yet why could she use them to grade my test. Thankfully she felt the same. I felt after this encounter that there was little understanding on how we are supposed to conduct our presentation on what give our professors, so we never get an equal process of standards in our class.

I know my professor would make the comment, well not every definition of fair is the same. Well than make a standard of equal for your T.A.s because it might not be about me but I'm the one it's impacting, not you. You are not the one who is busting their butt to be heard when not many people are willing to listen. Especially when they drowning in the screams of others doing the same thing. It isn't so easy to hear other voices now is it? Change isn't simple. It shouldn't be. I just wish we could see a better reason why it can't.